the glass is half empty

Think Before You Write: A Special Entry

2006-07-12T00:10:00.000+08:00

this is [sort of] in line with the recent outrage/scandal/malicious gossip with regard to people's senseless and mindless ramblings in web logs.

i personally consider blogging a fun and a really entertaining thing to do. instead of being completely stagnant staring at the monitor for long hours doing nothing, it makes you write about anything and everything in the world, therefore honing and improving your English written communication skills.

however there are limits to what you can write about in your journals, most especially when it is clear to everybody that you own that certain blog. take it from me, i've been under deep "feces" [because i have to censor, you schmuck] because of the things i've said and wrote about here [check out those other entries i've left unerased]. and yes i've learned my lessons.

don't be too open about everything. remember that most of the blogs are public, and therefore even in the seemingly dark abyss [figurative language, chicks] of the faculty room, they have access to these.

and oh, of course there are tons of traitors and rats and snitches out there, and they have every resource to everyone's journals. they just have to print it out, hand it to the authorities, and wutwoo, instant conduct probation.

blogging for everyone will never be the same. better start reading the handbook, kiddos.

screen your entries. censor all your profanity. better yet, stop blogging. if, like me, you can't bear being unable to vomit out your thoughts, get a private journal elsewhere. Blogger is definitely not safe when it comes to these "privacy" issues. if you decide to stick to Blogger, keep your anonymity and never mention the word "school", the name of our school, and "I hate ___" and any other words/phrases that could be of questionable context in any of your entries.

i never thought things will become as ugly as this. good thing i officially got rid of this little crap-of-a-blog weeks ago. suddenly i'm thanking that outrage that i was in a few weeks ago for provoking me to eternally stop public blogging.

p.s. i've never defamed anyone. defaming is such a pitiful thing to do. i know that most of those accused as defamers didn't mean to defame anyone-- they were merely stating their opinions. remember next time to do think before you write.

closed.

2006-07-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

CLOSED.

as of 11 July 2006.

and i'm not exactly thinking of ever opening this up again.

just because i had immense fun with these 4 last entries, they're the only ones i'm deciding to keep. it could be fun looking back at this like, 10 years from now, thinking "those were the good ol' days."

yes i was being cynical yet again, just in case you still haven't figured it out.

hello there.

2006-07-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

arbitrary chick,

you astound me.

i should've guessed, from the way that your sentences were seemingly edited and checked for grammatical errors, that you were indeed filipino. it's only filipinos who pay close attention to spelling and grammar.

your reasons for commenting are still a blur to me, for i can't exactly pin-point what it is that i've done to cause a mind-blowing comment from your almighty self. my entries aren't exactly here to please any person, most especially you, for that matter. however, now that you've made me realize how bad and yes, repetitive my prose are, i just might make a rough draft of each entry i'm going to make here, have somebody check it for grammatical errors and "repetitive thoughts" before i publish it online. it seems that the way i do my entries annoys you so. allow me to ease that annoying feeling by doing the aforementioned things.

you also are annoyed at the way i use only one profanity through out an entire entry. i don't exactly owe you an explanation, but you see, i've been working to getting rid of my profane tongue. you should've seen the hefty amount of profanity in my previous entries. it ranged from "fuck" to "goddamn" to everything in between. now, the word "shit" and the occasional "putangina" still gets out whenever i get fuming mad. and you were suggesting a cussing dictionary, eh? well, honestly i bought myself one last summer, except that my friend lost it.

you accuse me of being rude to christine. if i was being rude, instead of that "whoops" post wherein i clearly said that i am sorry and i admitted that i was being stuck-up, unfeeling, and insensitive, i would've made an entry that exuded my aggravation, having repetitive profane words, like the filipino one i made especially for you. i know my limits, and i know when i've become terribly wrong about something. and i was sorry for it. what part of "i'm apologizing to everyone close to them who were in the accident, who i seemed to have thoroughly disrespected. i'm very sorry about what happened to you and about your loss, and i am most especially sorry for what i wrote about it" can't you understand? i'm assuming that you haven't read the entry that contained that line, since you evaluated my personality (or my rudeness for that matter) without considering what i've said before.

i envy you now because you have a very fruitful and informative media awareness class. my batchmates and i weren't exactly given the same privilege last year, since our teacher wasn't that great. quite contrary to what you've said, i am media literate. you used media to communicate or directly address to me what you had in mind. and i right now i am using media to communicate right back at you.

i thank you for the time you've spent reading my entry/ies and commenting on them. it's been most thrilling "communicating" with you.

ihatenf,

now that you've mentioned it, i feel quite thrilled that my blog's finally getting some "press coverage".

i'm assuming that you haven't read my "cynicism" entry, for you've directly said that i "like to influence [my] negative thoughts and ideas to other people." it puzzles me much as it might puzzle you, but my thoughts are always weird and they most of the time contradict what is supposed to be true, therefore they (and more importantly I) become dubbed as "bad" or "evil" or like you mentioned, "negative". i don't expect anyone to be "influenced" in any way by my ideas. i just love expressing my ideas, that's all. it's up to whomever is reading my blog to decide whether she wishes to be "influenced" or not.

you want me to stop saying bad words, eh? well that makes the two of us. i also am trying so hard to rid myself of all the profanities of the world. you have to be happy now that i'm down to saying "shit" instead of last year's "fuck" and "fucking". i used to say those words in almost all the sentences i say, provided that i was not in the presence of anyone in control of my conduct grade.

how great of you to presume that i am a whore, a slut, and a loser. first, i am not a whore for i do not sell my body as a rich billionaire's plaything. second, a slut is synonymous to a whore. third, aren't we all losers at some point in our lives? somehow that point in your life is right now.

i thank you too for your time to read my entry and comment, but there's a great deal of "me" that you have gotten out all wrong. stuff about the "outcast" and that i've been "dreaming" of this all my life. read between the lines, chick. people like you aren't exactly meant to understand clearly what i'm putting here. there's a ton of sarcasm in my language. sarcasm that if you're not too keen on watching out for, may cause utter confusion and wrong judgements.

i am not messing with other people's lives. you're messing with mine.

yeah, "in your face" to you too.

this public blog has been made only for the benefit of my friends who don't have LJs and therefore won't be able to read my friends-only entries.

oh, and please don't have me expelled. your friends here in the third world will only have to deal with me for nine months and then i'm off to a place that's a great deal better.

and then you'd be happy and i'd be happy and arbitrary chick would be happy. isn't that nice?

putragis

2006-06-30T21:11:00.000+08:00

[this entry is of no relationship to the previous "incident"]

hay nako, kung hindi ka nga naman tamaan ng walang hiya.

PANUTO: Bilangin ang mga salitang hindi kanais-nais (bad words)

eto na malamang ang pinaka-unang purong pinoy na sulat ko dito, dahil may putanginang namamakialam ng blog ng may blog diyan, at walang kakwenta-kwentang teen-angst daw ang pinahihiwatig ng aking mahaba at paliguy-ligoy at lubos na mapalabok na mga tala dito sa aking talaarawan. ipagdasal na lang natin na hindi nakakaintindi ng pinoy kung sino man si arbitrary13 tarantado siya.

kailangan ko daw ng ibang bastos na salita maliban sa "shit", ano gusto niya, "cunt"? pasensya na, pero kahit papaano may pag-iingat pa rin ako at may paggalang.

hindi ako nagsusulat sa punyetang talaarawan na ito para basahin ng mga taong wala naman kasi dapat pakialam. paki mo ba kung irksome, banal, at repetitive ang putanginang nakasulat dito.

hay nako. napupuntangina na talaga ako sa tarantadong talaarawan na ito. sinabi ko bang basahin mo?

pakibigyan ako ng ibang mura, baka kasi isipin niyo panay tarantado, putangina, at punyeta lang ang alam ko.

ipinagbibigay alam ko sa lahat na sa loob ng pitong araw, tatanggalin ko na ang talaarawan na ito. mananatili ako sa aking LJ (na pinagpaplanuhan ko na ring palitan, dahil sawa na ako dun sa akin ngayon), kung saan, sa aking palagay, ay mas mapayapa at walang mga walang hiyang taong nagco-comment sa mga bagay na hindi naman nila dapat pinakikialaman. kahit papaano gusto ko naman makapaglahad ng saloobin nang walang pag-iimbot at ng buong katapatan.

at ngayon ako'y nagpapaalam.

p.s. i've talked to tin already :)

cynicism equates to deep shit

2006-06-29T20:37:00.000+08:00

There's too much cynicism flowing around my system that soon enough you'll see me shitting out piles of cynicism as i walk through the crowded-with-lower-classpeople smelly corridors of our school schmool.

I don't have any idea when the hell this excessive cynicism in my system came about, and how the hell it got in there. All i know is that it actually got me in trouble, last saturday, [to those who haven't got any idea what the previous post was about] when i made an entry about that accident at katipunan late last summer. Judging at how seemingly supposedly mean my entry became [i came to as low as pissing on the people who were in the accident and blaming them that it was their fault entirely], it generated a bit of a fuss. okay, it wasn't just a "bit". it was quite huge, and it was definitely a first for me. [i will most likely dwell on this one later]

I don't know, maybe i just lack sympathy to other people and my misanthropy suddenly becomes too obvious in certain events like that. I vomitted out all the cynical thoughts i had been nestling in my futile brain for quite some time now. and wutwoo, much as i wasn't expecting anyone to actually care about it except people who were as cynical as me about the incident, uncynical people related to the incident itself got to read it. i never intended anyone 'involved' in that incident in any way get to read this.

i will just like to state that i am not bad, or demonic, or evil, for that matter, for i do not go prancing around the school telling people stories about the Church of Satan and preaching about the things in the Bible of Satanism. despite all the rumours that may be generated [or somehow concluded, for that matter] from all of the entries i post here [most distinctly that one which was well, scandalous], i am a normal person, except that i do not exactly 'practise' my religion that well because i find the existence of deities questionable [or unknown by nature and that humans aren't capable or are "ill-equipped to judge the evidence"]. it all seems like agnosticism on my part, but by being somewhat agnostic doesn't make me evil, okay?

going back to my thoughts on whatever that was rather unfortunate that happened last weekend in this blog [haha, yes i now practise a bit of caution here], the way i formatted my entry was not intended to disrespect anyone, and i was "almost" merely giving out my screaming thoughts to something that's "in the news". it was a "by-stander" point of view, if you'd ask me [you, my dear lower years will learn about all this in the ever-so-informative Media Awareness classes in third year!]. it was like me, just commenting [or alas, bashing or crying my shits out] on an F1 Grand Prix, or a FIFA match, perhaps, or on TomKat's baby alien...

... except that i got a wee bit carried away by the fact that unlike bashing TomKat or things like that wherein i won't really get any hard-as-ass pananabon from those people i well, talk about, the people involved are actually somewhat near me, and therefore can interrupt my "living".

i'm assuming that nothing i wrote here is objectionable. i've done my part in that previous entry. i've said sorry, and probably the only thing left to do is scream at the field and shout that i deeply regret what's been said in that old entry. i haven't exactly got a response from tin, since i have no idea where to contact her and stuff. i would definitely love to talk to her to at least say sorry, but regretfully i do not know how she looks like. and well, fourth year [and that friggin intrams team name] is shitting its shits at me at the moment and i can't even eat my usual Eggnog meals during recess!

tell me if you think something in this post is objectionable, okay?

stuck-up, unfeeling, insensitive prick

2006-06-27T10:25:00.000+08:00

would you believe that!?? people actually read all the shit i put up in this blog!

haha, maybe this was the site-traffic i've been dreaming of all my life. haha, this could be the start of my Bryanboy-ish career as a blogger!

or maybe not.

...

okay, i was a wee bit too grudgeful [!?] or disgraceful because of all those shit i suddenly decided on putting up on my blog. well, i know this will seem very passe and you'd hear this from a lot of people who've been put under pressure by what they put on their blogs, but THIS IS MY FUCKING BLOG.

but, alas, i'm apologizing to everyone close to them who were in the accident, who i seemed to have thoroughly disrespected. i'm very sorry about what happened to you and about your loss, and i am most especially sorry for what i wrote about it.

to tin [i'm not quite sure if this is your name, sorry]: i thank you for what you did and i admire your courage. i'm very very sorry about that word-shit i put up. sometimes thoughts come to one's mind and he can't help but vomit it out in any way possible.

be pleased to know that this won't happen again. i'm fucking swearing this won't fucking happen again. i'll still blog as usual, but with more caution of course. i didn't mean to cause any stir with what i put up.

sorry for being a stuck-up, unfeeling, insensitive prick with no regard for people who've been through a sad experience in their lives.

it's just the way i am, i guess. unfeeling. insensitive. stuck-up. but i know my limits and mistakes. that's why i deeply regret what i've said.

kweh, please remind me next time to hold my thoughts when it comes to this public blog. kaya nga pala ako may Friends-Only LJ. i eventually might get sued for errm, defamation of character(?) because of all the nasty shits i'm posting. maybe i should just stick to making this a narcissistic shrine of self-proclamation [oh the redundancies!] just to make sure i'm safe.

again, i apologize [shit, or is it apologise!?? aaaah my spelling is so fucked-up].

...yeah, contrary to popular belief, i know how to apologize[apologise].

p.s. about the profanity, haha. sorry about that. :) it's just the way i post my entries.
p.p.s. yes, i am not at school today.